Three months ago I returned to the eastern part of the country to spend more time with a sister who is in a nursing home and will never fully recover her health. She had been in ICU several times this past year. This decision brought me face to face with my intense dissatisfaction with our healthcare system. It also brought me face to face with feelings of fear and personal loss. I had returned to my Saturn IC Line. I will include a link for those who are interested in the meaning and symbology of Saturn. This energy is neither good or bad but it is a strong dose of reality. No slipping into denial without consequences. The work I had been doing out west came to an abrupt end. I found myself in a world that did not appreciate or understand my interests, passions, or basic physical and emotional needs. It was a big test that left me searching once again for a better way to be and see.
I had to make some changes in my immediate environment for my health and emotional well being. I started to read a book that had been in storage for years. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. I will add a link for this also. I love Astrology for the amazing details it gives about us and the perspective of connectedness with universal intelligence. Yoga and Reiki are healing and necessary tools for me personally. Yet, I found myself still dealing with a broken heart.
The past and the present were pressing in on my chest. Heart broken for my sister and also feeling as though my dreams would never be realized. My sisters dreams will never be fulfilled in this lifetime. She was born mentally and physically handicapped. She has always wanted a family and children. My mother taught her a belief system that gives her some comfort. She believes in a new world where she will have a chance to have a family. I wish this for her even if I do not share the same beliefs. I am keenly aware of limitation. We are not all created equal. Some of us, if not all of us, are born with some limitation. I feel a strong need to be gentle.
When I started reading The Four Agreements again, I comprehended the application of the concepts more fully than I had in the past. I could truly see how improved my life would be if I practiced these agreements. The final agreement is "To do your Best", this is the only agreement I felt I had honored completely in the past. Realizing I had been doing my best helped me with forgiveness because I could see that other people were most likely doing their best too. Even people who are deliberately hurtful. They are still doing "their best" with their beliefs and personal bias.
The book is written very simply and many people may not truly grasp the power of this process. The book needs to be read and practiced in order to comprehend it's power. The Four Agreements need to be practiced with close monitoring of our internal and external speech. Daily failure can be observed with compassion and a willingness to keep at it. Personally I find it more powerful than any religious teaching, yet it can be used along with any religious belief.
In order to master energy, we must be able to master our emotions. Feeling happy or pleasantly distracted until some person or circumstance irritates you, is not enough for true mastery. It's so easy to blame the person or circumstance rather than process the emotions. When you practice The Four Agreements there is no escape. You will fail! You will criticize someone. Most likely yourself! You will take something personally! The link below will take you to a site that has articles that will help you to monitor your progress along with the book. www.toltecspirit.com/
I hope you will join me in this practice. I am going to set up a page for discussion in the future. Here's to new beginnings!
When you are forced to make tough choices. When life is "hard". "Calling all Angels" may be the only thing we can do.
This is my new friend Roxy. She is a Pit Bull that was used for breeding. She lived in a cage for her first few years and was abused. She is now loved and she is one of the most loving dogs I have ever met.